Quanto Somnum Nimis

Lots has happened in the past few months:
  • I got a second job. Still in training, but I'm teaching pre-college test prep for Kaplan.
  • Went to Texas back at the beginning of May to visit the family I used to babysit for. It was nice to just relax.
  • Went to two concerts in the last month, which is something I rarely do. 
The last thing isn't a bad thing, necessarily. It's what the title is referencing; I most likely have narcolepsy.

No, I'm not joking. I literally will fall asleep against my will, and I have done it. A lot.

It's not officially diagnosed yet, but I met with a doctor of sleep medicine on Friday, and he really seems to think I have it. I'll take the official sleep tests in August, so we'll see then.

I'm really optimistic. Why? One, it'll prove that I'm not crazy--I really can't control this sudden urge to sleep. Two, it will help me feel less guilty. I have fallen asleep in places that I really shouldn't (the back of a classroom while mentor-teaching, for one). I really felt shame each time it's happened. Like, why couldn't I just get up and go get water? Did I have that much of a lack of will-power? Three, it will help me in my relationship with the boy. There have been many arguments over me just "being lazy" and napping all day on a weekend. Which, after this consultation, he did apologize for. To be honest, though, it's not his fault for not understanding. It did look like laziness, like giving in to just relaxing. The official diagnosis will help us understand each other a little bit better.

Lastly, it's just make me feel better. I've thought that something was wrong with me for so long. That wanting to sleep so often was indicative of an underlying mental instability. And while that's what it is technically (chemicals that keep us awake versus asleep are quite right in my brain), this explanation tells me, It's okay. You haven't been in control about this for a while, but there are resources and options for you to take that control back. 

That is the most encouraging thing. That the life I want to live might become more of a possibility.

Here's the Breakdown

Things That Have Happened Since My Last Posting:
  • I celebrated seven years with my boo-thang.
  • Actually been keeping up with the weight loss.
  • Went to Disney World with the family.
  • Officially became an adult in all senses of the term by turning 26.
  • Got some books signed, by Maureen Corrigan and Katherine Paterson.
And lots of other little things.

Things I Have Planned:
  • An Udemy course. It's supposed to take 6 weeks. Let's see how that goes.
  • I really need to clean my house before my sister visits on Memorial Day weekend.
  • Really really gonna learn French this time around.
  • I really need to start writing again.

Dusting Off the Ol' Blogaroo

So, I haven't written a blog post since MawMaw Alice passed away. How appropriate that on the day of her and PawPaw Edward's anniversary do I have the urge to write again.
(Side note: they got married 65 years ago, and celebrated 63 years before he passed away in Aug. of '12.)

A lot of things have happened, and yet it seems like more of the same old, same old.
I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't get a teaching job, and I have one more campus visit lined up for Friday. We'll see on that one--it's farther out, so I would have to live there. And while it's not terribly far, I'm used to living with B now, so it would be trying to not see him everyday anymore.

Work currently is...well, work. There are days when I hit a stride, and I like what I'm doing. And then there are days like yesterday when I remember that I'm really undervalued here by a lot of people.
Basically, I serve more like an admin. assistant. However, I don't know if some of the people here get that. Because of that, I often get loaded up with tons of things with little direction and the expectation that I have the time to do this asap.

Weight loss stuff has been challenging, to say the least. It's always been really hard for me to count calories, so I have been very very bad about doing so. I currently have a weight goal by a certain day (which I will talk about in a bit), so hopefully having an actual deadline rather than an abstract one will help.

In a few weeks, I'll be going to the Outer Banks for the first time, with B and some of our friends. I'm quite excited, because 1) it'll be my first summer beach trip in eons and 2) we haven't been able to all hang out a lot this summer.
Buying the swimsuit was a little challenging, mainly because I hadn't bought one in 7(!) years and I suffered a bit from the sticker shock. But thankfully, I've found one that both makes me feel good about myself and is comfortable to wear.

If y'all are nice, I might grace this blog with a picture-laden post. Maybe.

Chalkboard Wishes and Coffee Mug Dreams

If you've ever asked me about my career plans for, oh, about a minute, you know that in the long-term, I want to become a teacher.

If you've known me for a while, you know that I've been searching for a teaching job for a really, really long time (passed the two year mark recently). And while that might not seem like a long time in the big scheme of things, it feels more like I've always been searching.

It's been super frustrating. I'm constantly reminded about my lack of a position from people asking about my search (not your fault, you're curious, I know), from seeing friends' post about teaching stuff (also no hard feelings--I teach vicariously through your stories), from going home and seeing the reference and classroom library books I've collected in waiting for that moment.

It's take a long, long time, but I'm content at the moment. My receptionist job keeps me on my toes with plenty to do, and I've learned a lot about technology. But I still hope after every interview for that blessed job offer call, but if it doesn't happen for a while, I'll make do.

The reason this is on my mind at the moment?
  • I interviewed last week at a nearby high school. I don't know how it went. I had interviewed with the principal before, when he was at the middle school two years ago. I wonder why I didn't get the job then, and if that hurts me now.
    But I did what any good LA native would do--when my friend, a graduate of the school, offered to put in a good word with someone there, I did not refuse. Not even once out of politeness.
  • I've also got a campus visit with a local private school next week. It looks like a really nice school, and the commute's not too bad. Plus, since they board, there might be a chance I could have a place to crash during the week and visit on weekends. I'm really nervous-excited, because the visit will involve teaching a lesson too.
  • Today, my fortune cookie at lunch said that my "wish is about to come true." I don't know if it's referring to this wish of a teaching job or not, but fingers crossed!

Day 19 (+8) Tick..Tick...Tick

So, yeah, I know I didn't update yesterday. But really don't give a damn. And today's post will touch on that, among other things.

  • Yesterday marked 6 years of dating Brett. And did we do anything special? Not really--went to Toys'R'Us (because we can) and Target (to spend too much money on razor blade replacements) and Brett went into work for about 15 minutes and Traders Joe's (for the essentials). We hung out and played video games and just chilled, basically.
    That's just the way I like it. I like that I'm comfortable with him, that we can both relax in the same room, enjoying the closeness, without having to constantly be talking or doing stuff together. I like that enjoying each other's presence aspect of our relationship.
    Though we will be going out to eat tomorrow night to celebrate :)
  • Because of the aforementioned anniversary, I, from time to time, get asked it there are any "major plans" in my future. (My favorite way I've been asked this is if Brett was planning any visits to jewelry stores in the near future. As if I would know.) We talk about it, sure. But honestly? Marriage is nice and I look forward to wedding planning one day, but it's expensive as hell. In today's economy, I know I'll be footing the bill for a large portion of that. And with my student loans payments and other bills, that's not exactly something I can afford. So, yeah, we've talked about our future. For now, it's pretty far off in the horizon.
  • Fun fact--a lot of my friends are totally understanding when it comes to this and don't pester me about it. So thanks, y'all :)
  • Sometimes I worry that because I'm not in academia or education stuff at the moment, I'm losing that part of my nerdiness.
    Then I realize that one of my long-term objectives is to categorize my 1000+ book collection by LC Call Number, and I have emailed the actual Library of Congress to ask them on how to find certain book numbers, and have researched how craft my own LC Call Numbers...and I worry a little less.
     
  • Sometimes, when I think of libraries and such, I wonder if I should have gotten my master's in library sciences instead...I can tell you it probably would have been easier finding a job relevant to my degree, that's for damn sure.
  • Yesterday, at Target, I discovered they sell Panera soups. You guys. Panera's Broccoli Cheddar is my life blood. I was entirely too excited when buying that soup yesterday.
  • I was listening to my iTunes on shuffle the other night, and Rooney's "When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" came up, aka one of my senior year anthems. I wondered what they were up to now, and found lead singer Robert Schwartzman's Twitter (I was at the time updating my Twitter [@sallem5]). He's generally better known as Michael Moscovitz in The Princess Diaries. Gif for reference:


    I was like, alright, follow him, that's cool.
    Well, guess who requested a follow-back? That's right, that guy.

    So yeah, that's my life.

    (Btw, if you haven't figured it out yet, the title is reference a news ticker...because you're just getting whatever rolled into my head.)

Day 18 (+7): Does Not Compute

Why yes, it has been a few days since I last posted.
And yes, I am even more behind now. I will catch up eventually.

The main problem I'm having with posting every day is I have to do it at work in spare time. Usually I can write a little here, a little there, and I've got a post in about an hour or two, depending on how busy things are, how motivated I am to write the post, that sort of thing.
But when I can't write it at work, that's where I hit a brick wall lately. Because while Brett has a very lovely desktop that works awesomely, he's usually on it from the time we get home to most of the night. It's his, so I feel bad asking him to get off, you know? He also has a laptop, but the hinges are wonky, and it feels unsafe in my more-than-clumsy hands. I don't like typing on an iPad screen (also his), because it's not the same.
And my phone has the Blogger app, but typing on my phone is also less than ideal.

If you haven't noticed, I haven't mentioned my own netbook computer. That's because lately...well, it's been like this:

You might think I'm being over-dramatic about it, but I'm not really. Basically, the sucker wouldn't do anything. At all. I would turn it on, and try to open Firefox, or iTunes...and get no response. The little loading circles might come up, but after that? Nada. And it would decide that it needed to restart, and it would restart, and I'm like, wtf, mate? 

It's been pretty slow all around for a while now, but I just can't afford to get a new one. I mean, I probably could get something small, and fairly low on memory, but if I'm going to get a new computer, I want to get one that I can do other stuff on. Because lately, I've also been playing Steam.
For those not in the know, Steam is an online video gaming platform. Though obviously this little thing can't handle that overload of processes, so I've been gaming on Brett's desktop. And I hate asking him to get off so I can play. Part of my nature--I don't like making people do things they don't have to do just for my sake.

So if I were going to get a computer, it would be powerful enough to game on. And that costs a fair chunk of change.

Some of you may now be wondering, Well, Samantha, what are you typing on at this moment? By a rare stroke of luck, I managed to get my computer running again enough to actually do stuff. I really am not sure how, but I did. Deleted a few unused programs, cleared some cached memory, ended a few processes, and it started to quicken. So, for now, this will do what I need it to. While it still goes to "Not Responding" every few minutes, it fixes itself quickly, so I wait it out.





Mini Update!

So, obviously already updated for today, but wanted to let you readers know (if there are readers, that is), that I made a few aesthetic changes.

One, I added what day of the year to the titles of previous posts. That way, you can know how many days I'm in. It also serves as a back-up in case I skip a day, but that's a Red Button type situation.

Also, added my Instagram feed to the side, to make things purrrtier. I don't use Instagram often [read: hardly at all], but maybe I'll use it more often knowing my lovely audience is watching.

Maybe. Don't hold your breath though.