Here begins a new year, and with it, a new blog.
I’ve started a good many blogs/journals/ways of keeping up
with my life over the years. Thankfully, most of the über-embarrassing stuff is
gone the way of the trash. I’m cringing now just thinking about some of those
entries.
My point is this isn’t a novel idea during my life. I just
thinking that writing in particular is an area that I need to revitalize.
As most of you know, it’s a dream of mine to be published
one day. And I plan to make that happen. To do so, however, requires practice.
And since, well, graduating with my English degree in 2011, I haven’t done a
whole lot of creative writing.
Sure, there was that entire year where I was writing lesson plans and my action research paper, and all the assignments in between, but it’s not the same. I thought that maybe, after a few months of a teaching job under my belt, I would be able to find the time to write again.
Sure, there was that entire year where I was writing lesson plans and my action research paper, and all the assignments in between, but it’s not the same. I thought that maybe, after a few months of a teaching job under my belt, I would be able to find the time to write again.
And here we are, 1.5 years later, and to say that things
didn’t turn out as I planned is quite an understatement.
It’s weird, 2014. It seems a lot more people are reflective
on 2013 and how they’re excited for the upcoming year. All I have to say to
2013 is, “Nice knowing ya!”
2013 for me wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a super awesome year. I didn’t lose the weight that I wanted to. I didn’t find the teaching job I want so badly. I didn’t follow through with plans I made for myself. I don’t feel that I internally grew over the last 12 months.
2013 for me wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a super awesome year. I didn’t lose the weight that I wanted to. I didn’t find the teaching job I want so badly. I didn’t follow through with plans I made for myself. I don’t feel that I internally grew over the last 12 months.
It’s been fairly sucky (scientific term there) since I moved
to Virginia. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve met great people and done cool things here,
but it’s really hard seeing my friends getting on with their lives and doing
awesome things. To be frank, part of me is a jealous grump when my friends post
about their students/classes/etc. I just want what they have, and it’s so hard
because I’ve been trying for so long. And when I get that question about why I’m
not teaching from someone back home, it makes me want to cry out, “I want to,
but no one wants me!”
It’s kind of freeing, letting this out there. I’ve been in a
self-esteem slump for a while, which has contributed to or caused the
aforementioned things that didn’t happen in 2013. And while I’m naturally a
more optimistic person, this past year has been spent mainly keeping my spirit’s
head above water.
2014, though. It’s going to be awesome. I’m going to make it
awesome. By making time to do more things that make me happy. By doing the
things that need to get done before they get to the point of stress-inducing (I’m
looking at you, dirty dishes). By taking the moment to relish what I’ve got and
knowing that good stuff is still in the horizon, even if it’s not the stuff I’m
expecting.
By just stopping and breathing, and trucking on.