For all the uninitiated, I currently live in the Old Dominion State, also known as Virginia. My family's Cajun, born and bred, so my Louisiana roots are rampant. I grew up in the middle of the MS Delta, the birthplace of the blues, so that influenced my bringing up. Save for Jan. to mid-May of 2009 when I lived in England, I've always lived in the South
Because of this, I always feel like the apologist to people I know from elsewhere in the States and world. So, here's my explanation list.
Because of this, I always feel like the apologist to people I know from elsewhere in the States and world. So, here's my explanation list.
- Yeah, Robert E. Lee's birthday (and Stonewall Jackson's too, apparently, according to VA) is often celebrated on the same day as Martin Luther King, Jr.'s. But their birthdays are right beside each other.
- Yes, there are still lots of private schools in the South that have a very small minority population. But for the most part, the students nowadays are more accepting. And it's more about how many minority students can't afford the tuition.
- Yes, the Rebel Man and Confederate Flag and the song "Dixieland" are still in heavy rotation. And it really does mean Southern pride for a lot. They grew up seeing these symbols as something to be proud of.
- Yes, my dad is a Civil War buff. No, he doesn't dress in recreation regalia and reenact battles. He doesn't believe "the South will rise again", so to speak.
- Yes, we do have weird outside hobbies--mud-riding, frog gigging, etc. While I feel the need to remind you that not all Southerners are outdoorsmen (take, for example, me), I'll just say you find fun where and how you can.
- Yes, there were horrible things that happened to black people in the South. No, you as a black person are not in danger 24/7 in the South (this is based on a true sentiment expressed to me).
Those are just a few of the things that grind my gears.
Though I know things aren't rosy. I know plenty of prejudiced people. I had family members that didn't approve when one of my cousins dated a black girl. It's still weird for me when I hear/see evidence of racism from the 60's, those hateful slurs and phrases on posters and yelled into the air. Mainly because I wonder what some of my more conservative family thinks when they see. About how fervent they might see.
I'm not worried anyone I'm related to will show up on the news for a hate crime. Nor do I think that they will do something super ridiculous. I guess it's selfish, when I think about it--if they have prejudices, what prejudices do I have that I don't see, lying beneath the surface?
And I know there are some I have, but I try and ignore anything my idiot brain says in those situations. It sounds dumb, but I listen to my heart. That's where those that say, "why do I have to keep apologizing for what my ancestors did?" get it wrong.
Southern apologists like myself don't say sorry because we feel personal guilt. We say sorry for actions of the past because it's empathetic, to recognize someone of another race as the victim of generations of oppression and let them know how I think.
So here's my apology:
"I am sorry your ancestors where treated like less than people. I, as a person, find that a tragic part of history and do my best to change that within myself, by treating you as the fellow human you are. Because you deserve nothing less."
Yes, I am from South. And that only makes me one thing--Southern.
So whatever I feel about the horrid past, I can't hate the South, because it's made me me, and given me an understanding of feeling for others that I wouldn't trade for anything.