So, I read this article just a bit ago. And the idea that women need to police their own language to become effective communicators?
That's ridiculous.
The pledge they put out as a tie-in with the app really burns me up:
In 2016, I will be a more effective communicator. I will not use "just" or "sorry" in emails, which undermine my message. I will talk about what I know, not what "I think".
Why is the use of "just" or "sorry" undermining my message?
I used sorry last week in an email, when I had forgotten to attach a stamp to something. It was returned, ergo delaying that paperwork. So I apologized. Because I had made a mistake. Therefore, I said sorry.
I use just a fair bit. Because I often have to give context to an issue I'm having or a question I need answered, I sometimes use "just" to indicate the main point of my email. Or say, here's what I need now. Sure, I could say "All I need to know is ..." or "The main point is...", but you know what? That's not how I talk regularly. It's not my voice.
That last line is the worst one of all. Why can't "I think"? That's part of contribution, and giving feedback. It's part of verification. "I think so, but let me check and get back to you," is an entirely different message than "I'm not sure,..." or "I don't know..." It shows that I need to verify what I am remembering to make sure it is right. It's more positive sounding than "I'm not sure" for sure.
Also, considering my position as a lower-tier employeed, "I think we should..." rather than "We should..." shows the respects to higher-ups as necessary. I often don't have all the information, so I'm indicating that with what I know, this is what I think. I'm not overstepping my boundaries, and communication is all about understanding how to create bridges over those boundaries to mutual understanding.
This app is specifically geared towards women. And it's just another attack on the way some women choose to communicate. As if it's not good enough.
Sure, I'm a more passive person. I use "just" and "sorry" and up-speak and "like" and "so" and lots of filler words. But that's because I prefer to go into a conversation indicating that how I think is most likely different than how you think, and I want to make sure that everyone is on the same page. So my language is more conciliatory. That's how I roll.
And there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
That's ridiculous.
The pledge they put out as a tie-in with the app really burns me up:
In 2016, I will be a more effective communicator. I will not use "just" or "sorry" in emails, which undermine my message. I will talk about what I know, not what "I think".
Why is the use of "just" or "sorry" undermining my message?
I used sorry last week in an email, when I had forgotten to attach a stamp to something. It was returned, ergo delaying that paperwork. So I apologized. Because I had made a mistake. Therefore, I said sorry.
I use just a fair bit. Because I often have to give context to an issue I'm having or a question I need answered, I sometimes use "just" to indicate the main point of my email. Or say, here's what I need now. Sure, I could say "All I need to know is ..." or "The main point is...", but you know what? That's not how I talk regularly. It's not my voice.
That last line is the worst one of all. Why can't "I think"? That's part of contribution, and giving feedback. It's part of verification. "I think so, but let me check and get back to you," is an entirely different message than "I'm not sure,..." or "I don't know..." It shows that I need to verify what I am remembering to make sure it is right. It's more positive sounding than "I'm not sure" for sure.
Also, considering my position as a lower-tier employeed, "I think we should..." rather than "We should..." shows the respects to higher-ups as necessary. I often don't have all the information, so I'm indicating that with what I know, this is what I think. I'm not overstepping my boundaries, and communication is all about understanding how to create bridges over those boundaries to mutual understanding.
This app is specifically geared towards women. And it's just another attack on the way some women choose to communicate. As if it's not good enough.
Sure, I'm a more passive person. I use "just" and "sorry" and up-speak and "like" and "so" and lots of filler words. But that's because I prefer to go into a conversation indicating that how I think is most likely different than how you think, and I want to make sure that everyone is on the same page. So my language is more conciliatory. That's how I roll.
And there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.